I started tracking what movies I watch per year in mid-2017, so I have 6 years of full data. I watched fewer movies this year than any year I have full data for: 89 movies (vs. 106 in 2018). I also watched fewer in theaters–15–than any year except 2021 (8). As a result, this list may be a bit less glowing than I have done in the past, plus only one showing from this year.

Assassin 33 A.D. (2020)

Do not watch this movie because it’s on this list. It merely hits a particular part of my broken brain to make me enjoy it. So the concept here is what if extremist muslims invent a time machine and use it to go back and kill Jesus. You probably are asking several questions at this point like, “wait, isn’t Jesus famously killed by Romans?” or “does that even make sense for extremist muslisms to do?” I usually try to keep these spoiler-lite but given that I told you not to watch it, I’m gonna explain some stuff.

The muslims want Jesus to basically… mysteriously disappear. This will cause Christianity to “not happen”, but Islam will remain… somehow. Sure, fine, whatever.

Other details that are funny and/or interesting:

one of the characters can speak American Sign Language which comes up as soon as its relevant and no sooner
at one point we see the alternate “Jesus died” future and it basically looks like a bombed out wasteland lmao
the guy doing the actual killing is a Christian who hates God because his wife and daughter were killed by a truck slamming into their car
it has surprisingly consistent time travel rules for such a dumbass movie

Anyway, this movie is a trip and one I could not get in any other way, so I appreciate it for that at least.

Double Team (1997)

Another dumbass movie. But this one is at least a lot more generally entertaining. This is a Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle–a classic in the 90s–but it also stars Dennis Rodman, the iconic basketball player. It’s a very silly spy thriller with over-the-top action.

JCVD is doing his fairly standard thing here, which works. But the real standout is Rodman. He’s incredibly charming while chewing the scenery in every appearance. He starts out as Van Damme’s Q-type character, but pretty soon they’re basically doing a buddy spy thing. It’s fun.

Wuthering Heights (1939)

Wuthering Heights is one of those timeless classics at the very least evidenced by the fact that this adaptation is nearly 100 years after its publication. And this one is a banger. The plot of decades-long grudges a great one heightened especially by Laurence Oilivier’s performance. I don’t have a lot more to say, but it’s definitely worth a watch.

Conclave (2024)

When the Pope dies, the College of Cardinals is sequestered and has to choose a new Pope from among their number to lead over a billion Catholics worldwide. And that’s what this movie is about! It stars Ralph Fiennes, Stanely Tucci, John Lithgow and some other actors who are new to me. It’s got great political and personal maneveuring as its plot. You really can’t beat sharp writing with pitch-perfect performances like this.

Before Sunrise (1995)

I usually am not a big fan of romantic dramas, so I’m surprised this one won me over. The premise is beautifully simple: Jesse meets Celine on a train in Europe where he convinces her to hang out with him in Vienna overnight–as he has no money for a hotel. What follows is mostly just the two of them walking around Vienna while chatting about life. The characters aren’t super smart or insightful or anything, but they are charming and lifelike. I found myself comparing it to My Dinner with Andre–a film I disliked profusely–and how much better Sunrise drew its characters in a way that made me enjoy watching, while speaking on similar subjects. This one is a classic for a reason and lives up to the hype.

Miracle Mile (1988)

Miracle Mile has a great concept: some guy picks up a ringing phone at a phonebooth and is told the nukes are gonna hit in an hour or so. Calamity ensues. It’s hard to describe too much more without giving up the whole movie. I think it does a great job of taking the idea and running with it. One of the coolest things about it is being completely at the “random person” level. There’s no insights into the wider political machinations; in fact, it’s not even clear if the phone call is legit.

Fail Safe (1964)

Another Cold War thriller, but very different. Due to a glitch, American nuclear bombers head for Russia until the point where they can’t be called back, by design. The movie largely takes place inside an underground bunker with the President–played by Henry Fonda–talking on phones. And yet the tension never lets up, right up until the final frame.