One of the big problems with “top 10 of ” is that usually that year just ended. Sometimes it’s nice to see what stands the test of time. In that spirit, I’m going to go back 10 years and pick my top 10 of 2009. A few nice things about this: 1) I’ve had 10 years to let the movies sit, a few months difference doesn’t really matter; 2) I’ve had 10 years to catch up on movies I missed in theaters; 3) I can post this any time!
10 - Zombieland
When I saw Zombieland in a theaters, I thought it was going to be the best movie I’d see all year. It made the zombie movie feel fresh again. Comparisons to Shaun of the Dead were inevitable, but it seemed up the task of not beating the heavyweight in the subsubgenre of zombie comedy, at least measuring up. A cast (including surprise cameo role) which I still love, this movie is just pure fun. And now I want some Twinkies.1
9 - Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
I slept on this movie initially, because it looked like a dumb kids movie. Which is not entirely inaccurate. But, it’s a dumb kids movie with tons of heart, character, and humor. I laughed so hard and so much during this movie. All while caring so much about the characters. Two thumbs up.
8 - G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
“But, breetz! It’s G.I. Joe a garbage fire of a movie? Why is it number 8 on your list?” You’re right! It’s so bad! Holy crap it’s like an insane trainwreck with JGL and Channing Tatum at the helm. And I never want to stop watching. This movie is one of the most solidly entertaining movies I’ve ever seen. I could watch this over and over and have no problems. It has bad writing, dialogue, acting, world design, and understanding of physics. It makes me feel even more sorry for Christopher Eccelston than Thor: The Dark World ever did. It’s the best!
7 - Moon
I’m not the first to sing Moon’s praises and I won’t be the last. Duncan Jones' feature debut is a masterpiece in ever sense of the word. It weaves interpersonal conflict (with two characters playing the same actor!) with plot seamlessly. Rockwell’s performance(s) absolutely knock it out of the park. It’s no wonder we were all excited for Warcraft!
6 - Sherlock Holmes
I still remember the feeling of being in the theater watching the first few minutes of this movie. It hits the ground running (literally) and sucked me into this world. Sherlock Holmes had always felt kind of stuffy to me, having been most portrayed through parody.2 This was the movie that made me fall in love with the acting of Mark Strong. As its imitators piled up, this movie lost a bit of its sheen, but it still puts a smile on my face whenever I happen to catch a bit of it.
5 - Mystery Team
This is probably the first movie on the list that you may not have heard of. For some context: this movie was a movie made by the sketch comedy group Derrick Comedy. The most prominent member of this group was Donald Glover, who stars. The plot follows a trio of Encyclopedia Brown pastiche “kid sleuths” who are now 18, but haven’t left their childhood trappings behind. They get thrown for a loop when they get hired by a young girl to solve her parent’s murder. This movie pulls zero punches, but it also has a lot more sincerity than your typical modern comedy movie. Also, it’s hilarious. There are bits in this movie I still think about to this day.
4 - Watchmen
Remember what I said about Duncan Jones? That goes double for Zack Synder. This movie is the reason we felt it was okay to trust him with the DC cinematic universe. And you know what? I don’t blame us. This movie owns. As an adaptation, it’s spot on. I keeps almost everything and the things that it changes are (nearly always) the right choices for adaptation to film. It’s kind of nuts to think that this movie came out in 2009, just one year after Iron Man. The kind of thought put into this story is even more relevant today. And I think those opening credits will never be topped.
3 - Black Dynamite
Black Dynamite is definitely the cult hit of 2009. I remember watching this movie basically every day for at least a month. It was always on in the fraternity house. Endlessly quotable (“But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs in the community!"), infinitely watchable, and insanely ridiculous, this movie is the perfect hang out movie. The plot turns on a dime and is mostly and excuse to get from point A to B, and it parodies every trope in the book.
2 - Inglourious Basterds
This fucking movie is a fucking masterpiece. I could watch the bar scene on its own endlessly. But this movie is so much more than the sum of its parts. And what parts they are. Tarantino is often rightly called overrated, but this movie deserves every ounce of hype. The way that it builds tension is like no other. The precision of the dialogue (unsurprisingly) is unsurpassed. And the pure catharsis that is brings, unmatched.
1 - 2012
Twenty-motherfucking-Twelve. This movie is legendary. Arguably, this is the worst movie on this list (hard to say with G.I. Joe represeting, though), but it is also my most favorite one to watch. I called G.I. Joe a trainwreck, and this movie is like a trainwreck where each car it itself another trainwreck. The plot alone is enough to drive a person mad, but they heaped on top plenty of diaster porn action, insane dialogue, and a big ol' helping of deranged science. The concoction is at the same time intoxicating and revolting. And the further we get from the supposed Mayan apocalypse and/or rapture that was supposed to happen in 2012, the funnier this movie gets.